I Chose Not to Look at the Clock Tonight

My toddler took a super long nap today. For those of you who know Olivia, you know she doesn’t normally do that. It was glorious. Long naps always are. (And it would have been even more glorious had my normally-long-napping baby not picked today to wake up after only 45 minutes. You win some, you lose some.) But long naps also mean bedtime can be tricky. There is no way on this green earth my child will sleep an extra hour and forty-five minutes and still be in bed by 7 p.m. It isn’t happening. And the thing is, I like schedules. I like lunch at 11:30, naps at 12:30, dinner between 5 & 5:30, and bed at 7 p.m. And then I like my time. The time when my kids are in bed and things are quiet. My time to sew, catch up on my bible study, or read a good book. My time to enjoy a cup of tea that hasn’t been microwaved six times or eat a snack without someone saying, “What’s that?” (Well, if Luke is around that still happens.) Regardless, I need that time. Especially when Luke is traveling and I’m doing the solo-parent gig. And so, more often than not, I spend the hour between dinner and bedtime staring at the clock and counting the seconds until they are asleep.

But tonight was different. Since Avery woke up early she was snug as a bug in her bed by 6:30 p.m. And then instead of staring at the clock I decided to embrace this year’s MOPS’ theme and have a little more fun. We filled up the bath more than we ever have. We splash and tickled and laughed. We squirted each other with her dolphin and I let her stay in the bath much longer than I ever do. And then she spread lotion all over my face, we read more stories, and snuggled just a little more.  Instead of worrying about the “me” time I was losing, I decided to enjoy the time with my little girl. Because these moments are going to be gone so much faster than I want to admit. And tonight, I chose to relish in them.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am very much in favor of protecting your alone time. We need it and taking that time makes us better mamas. Choosing to give that up is a sacrifice. But tonight I decided that sacrifice was worth it. Tonight I closed my eyes and breathed in the smell of her damp hair as we listened to Beautiful Name. Tonight I chose not to look at the clock and just looked at her.

 

 

My Always and Forever but Not-so-Little Baby

I sat across the table from Olivia today eating lunch. Avery was perched in her highchair next to me shoveling zucchini into her mouth. Luke is traveling (again!) so it was just us girls. Olivia was wearing a teal Tea Collection sweater with a ruffle about mid-chest, the brightness of the sweater accented by her nana’s multi-colored, beaded necklace hanging around her neck. Her hair was in a high ponytail, bangs dusting the tops of her lashes as she looked up at me. I almost wish I’d taken a photo, but some things are meant to be recorded in the recesses of our minds versus the memories of our digital devices. She looked so grown up! And suddenly, with a wave of emotions crashing against me, I realized she not only isn’t a baby anymore but she isn’t even a toddler! She’s a little girl who makes me laugh, drives me crazy, and teaches me to love in a way I never thought possible. She’s a little girl who understands a joke, follows an adult conversation, and sings worship songs from the bottom of her heart and at the top of her lungs (although never with all the correct words).

I am not sure at what age a child is technically no longer a toddler. It seems to me I know plenty of children her age and older who I would classify as a toddler without the least bit of hesitation. But sitting before my was a little girl. A girl with opinions. A girl with big emotions. A girl who God has placed in my life to shepherd, teach right from wrong, train to love Him, and guide in the pursuit of holiness over happiness. A girl to whom I must model boldness blended with love and mercy, commitment to truth without being rigid and unteachable, and a desire to serve and love others. I pray God will continue to equip me to raise her in such a way.

Potty Trained in Three Days

If you had told me five years ago, or even five days ago, I’d be writing a blog on potty training I would have laughed in your face. And yet, here I am.

Let me just start by saying there are plenty of things about parenthood to find daunting but for some reason potty training was much closer to the top than I’d expected. So much so that when Olivia first started showing interest in the potty nearly 10 months ago I didn’t encourage it at all. She was 18 months at the time and I was pregnant with Avery. While I did buy her a little potty, I did little else to move her in that direction.

Made Perfect

I had this “Ah ha!” moment today as we sat outside our home trying to get the Easter photo I absolutely had to have. Once filtered, cropped, and edited, the photo looks pretty darn perfect.

Five Years

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged, mostly because life is crazy right now. Like no sleep, what day is it, I don’t know how to say no to things crazy. But I really can’t complain because I have two healthy, beautiful children and I’m blessed to have such a full plate of activities. But it still means blogging has fallen to the side. However, when your hubby goes all out for your five year anniversary you have to sing his praises, right?

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I know our anniversary is in April. How does one forget 4.4.14? But for some reason the fact that it was our five year anniversary didn’t register. Not only did he remember, but he bought me a diamond necklace from Cartier and planned an amazing day for us. His parents took the girls (thanks mom and dad!) and we set off for a day with just the two of us. We started the morning at Joe Momma’s, our favorite breakfast place. The weather was cold and rainy as we left for our second destination and I could tell he was disappointed. Turns out it was a blessing in disguise. He drove us to Idaho City where we spent a few hours at the hot springs. It was snowing there and sitting in the steaming water with snow softly falling on your bare shoulders and head was amazing!

After we had our fill of the hot springs we drove to downtown Boise where he had made reservations at a Marriott. Our room was filled with rose petals, a bottle of sparkling cider (and a Stella for him!), the glasses we toasted with at our wedding, a slice of cheesecake, and my favorite flowers. I got a pedicure while he swung by a barber shop and then it was off to a lovely dinner at Ruth’s Chris. My stomach and my heart were both very full by the end of the day.

These past few months have been some of the hardest in our marriage. Between a new baby and his busy travel schedule I sometimes felt as if we were two people in the same house, living two different lives. Just one day together reminded me how foolish those thoughts are. Thank you for sharing life with me, Luke!

Though I Fall, I will Rise

Today was one of those days. Well, it actually started last night. Avery (two months) has been sick which means we are stuck, stuck, STUCK at home with a toddler who wants to get, get, GET out of the  house. Who I am I kidding? I want to get out of the house. We are normally the people who have at least one activity, if not two, planned for each day. And Wednesdays are usually our bible study day which I really look forward to. Needless to say, I was already dreading the day before it started.

The Best of Times, the Worst of Times

I am positive Charles Dickens was actually referring to parenting when he penned those infamous words in A Tale of Two Cities. It blows my mind how a tiny little person can elicit such loving emotion from me one moment and literally have me seeing red the next. I know I am not alone!

A Picture is Worth 1,000 (Edited, Filtered, and Carefully Chosen) Words

Do you remember when you used to have to take film to Wal-Mart or some place to have your pictures printed? I would shoot all the film on my disposable camera and go running off to Wal-Mart of Longs Drugs to get it processed. When I got it back (24 hours later if I was super cool) I’d flip through all the images to see if there was anything worthwhile. Those were the real portraits of life – eyes closed, crooked shots, no filters or editing, someone inevitable had bunny ears, and always a photobomb of some kind. Not to mention the prints that were way too dark to even make out or the stray shot of someone’s finger over the lens. A photo is worth 1,000 words and those pictures had a lot to say. Photo taking is so different now.

Unmet Expectations

It’s amazing how your expectations of a situation can affect your perception and therefore your attitude. This morning Avery, my five-week-old, slept until 5:24 a.m. (Hallelujah!!!) Granted, we are co-sleeping and a lot of that time was spent snuggled against me. But still, we all slept! When she woke up I did a still and silent happy dance in bed. Six minutes later Olivia, my toddler, woke up. (What the…?!)

It’s a New Year. Please, Join my Gym.

The other day I went to my gym to take my normal Monday morning yoga class. The parking lot was packed and I ended up parking down the street and walking. The lobby was full with people trying to check in and the child watch area had more children than I think I’ve ever seen. Once upstairs I discovered my normal yoga teacher was still on vacation and I opted for a short workout instead. This is an exaggeration, but it felt like every machine had someone on it. After a quick warmup on the elliptical I went in search of open equipment and ended up basing my workout on the availability of machines versus the body part needing work. My arms are now wishing there’d been more leg machines available.