When I was single, I wanted so desperately to be married. In fact, I vividly recall crying on the phone with a dear friend as I drove the last few items to my new apartment. Choking through the tears I remember saying, “I have a great job, amazing friends, a wonderful church and bible study, live in paradise and the Lord has blessed me with this great home. But none of that seems to matter because I am alone.” Over time, as I invested in the Word and sought the Lord in prayer, I realized the idea of having a husband had become an idol in my heart. I wanted it more than anything else. I cared about being married more than God’s plan and purpose for my life. Slowly but surely, the Lord molded my heart and pointed it toward him. Many months later, during a sweet moment of quite time with God, I wrote in my journal, “I surrender it to my loving Father who has an amazing plan for my life. I give Him my desires, my dreams and my life. I am yours God and yours alone.” Shortly after, I lifted my heart to the Lord in prayer. If singleness was His plan for me, then I would accept it cheerfully and with contentment.
Of course it turns out being single forever wasn’t God’s plan for my life. But He did use that time to teach me to wait on Him for His perfect plan. And in this case, it meant surrendering my desires and waiting on Him for, well, him. So my challenge to women who are struggling through singleness, or really any period of waiting, is this – Do not allow this season to be wasted. Chase God with such passion that a man has to seek God to find you. Trust His timing, plan and provision. If God’s plan for you is marriage then let Him pick the man for you. He will be so much better than anyone you could have ever chosen for yourself. I am often reminded of this when I look at my husband, but this weekend it was especially true.
A few weeks ago Luke added a “special date night” to our shared calendar. On Saturday, he picked me up from sewing class (yes, sewing class) with a bouquet of flowers and an announcement that our special date was beginning. We drove into Waikiki for, what I thought, was lunch. It turned out we actually had reservations at the Surfjack, a trendy, boutique hotel in Waikiki. His surprise was a staycation! Of course it didn’t end there. We enjoyed lunch at Mahina & Sun’s and then made our way to Blue Note Hawaii for a special performance by Makana. The most adorable part of the weekend was Luke actually packed a suitcase for me including several outfit choices and all my toiletries. He did so well!
Our marriage is not perfect and every weekend is not a staycation. But it is a marriage that was completely worth waiting for. I am so thankful for our gracious Lord who taught me to long for Him more than anything (or anyone!) else.